Cuyahoga Read online

  At first they moved with cautious wonder, sniffing and kicking at the jumbles of felled timber. But before long caution turned to greed and the fleas ran to claim up the best lots. They set straight to carpentry and knit the still-warm wood into homes and barns and stables and stores, all in a morning. And then I awoke and heard the story straight from Big – how Ohio city, the sister and rival of Cleveland, come to be.

  The waters of the west was generally more polite than the trees. At first neither the Cuyahoga nor Lake Erie seemed cross at the slaughter of the forest. The river kept snoring away like a greenbrown sow, but a scowl stole into the lake. Every day we was washing up – fishing – emptying night pots – baptizing – tanning skins – soiling the waters.

  Before too long the lake took to fussing at us. But we only acted worse for all the storms and shipwrecks. Sending steamboats crawling across the lake’s face. Spreading ourselves wider and wider along the bluffs. Spilling more mess every day. Finally in the fall of 1829 the lake unleashed a wild wind, lasting for weeks on end. A good many trees spared by my brother keeled over. Fences and barns and houses fell. Churches was shorn of steeples. Children and other small livestock was carried away, never to be seen again. Soon we thought to rope tender creatures down, but both Cleveland and Ohio city spent that season in fear, near undone by the lake’s fury.

  Big Son did not see any sense in such tyrannical conduct. After some weeks of constant storms, he marched down to the water’s edge, his hair flapping wet, and proceeded to scold about the inevitability of white folks – that this revolt was foolishness – plumb stupid – that the lake could blow and bite all you wanted but we are here for eternity and you ought to go along like a fellow

  The lake did not talk back but its brownblue shade of summer turned to greenblack, and you could see it were drunk on its own might.

  Big seen that scolding was not the remedy. He tried to ambassador instead, saying Come now Erie, let us be pals  He opened his arms out wide like he would embrace the million acres of water.

  Wouldn’t you know the lake rose up and slapped him in the chops with stinging waves. Big grinned as wide as creation and leapt in for a fight.

  Man and water brawled for a fortnight. My brother first went after Erie with his axe, but that did no good. You cannot thwock water. Next he tried to drink up the whole lake. But his guts rebelled after he had swallowed down six feet, though Erie is still shallow for it – a token of Big’s admiration.

  In a fight, waters go for drowning every time. But Big has the lungs of an elephant and could dunk for a day and night without gasping. The fight gone on and on, such that those who gathered to watch and wager took boredom. So no one saw when the lake finally got Big by the shining hair and tied him to a sunken schooner. Big kicked and fussed awfully and pled for a Samaritan but a fish cannot untie a knot. After some hours of this he finally spread his hands and bubbled UNCLE

  The lake were battered too, relieved to toss him to shore. Lakes do not like to have a dead body in them any more than a body likes to be dead. But this particular body should not have been trusted. Big were already at trickery even as he coughed up a perch and gobbled lungfuls of autumn air.

  Mr Erie  I have got a bargain for you  We all will pack up our towns and head right back east in the morning  You just give me one good quiet night to rest  No wind, no rain, no bitter cold

  The lake, sore from the rastle, took the bait.  Alright, Mr Big Son  You have fought hard and you shown a considerable common sense  I will do what you ask

  So my brother and the lake they shook on it – climbed into their sleeping clothes and laid down to await the last day of Ohio city.

  As soon as the lake bedded down, liar Big went digging for the greatest rock he could find. If the lake might pin him to a shipwreck, then surely he could pin the lake to the soil beneath. He would find a boulder so great that Erie would have no choice but to behave. He snuck to Handerson and Panderson’s emporium and borrowed himself a good three-dollar shovel. He dug all through the night, but he only found regular-sized rocks. From his deep hole Big saw that dawn were crawling into the sky and Erie would soon awake. Around this moment, his shovel uncovered a great oaken door facing upward. Through the cracks Big marked a murmur of bloodred flame and the stink of dead folks within.

  He suspected just whose roost this were and what would come of calling – but he took to reasoning. The father of lies surely knew where the largest rocks were on account of landlording deep within the earth. And Big were already a liar for his false deal with the lake – the devil would appreciate such work. Big’s dishonest heart would want washing out on next Sunday already, so he might soil it further without fear. So my brother whanged at Hell’s door with his shovel.

  There were some clattering inside and creaking floorboards but soon enough the door swung open. The host what met him were not a scarlet-skinned demon dripping with fiery snots, but a white man aged about fifty years – unshaved and tired around the eyes – dressed in a blanket and nightcap, but not cross at his caller. The devil seen Big into his parlor and poured him good storebought coffee.

  You think on Satan taking Christ to the mountain and making his propositions. Back me and I will make you master of a dozen cities  Fix us bread to eat from these rocks  Jump off the temple roof to show how much man you are  These were foolish baits that only a fool would bite. Since Bible times, the Adversary had learned better lines of talk. If the devil tricked my brother, he made it look like Big had the idea first.

  As they took their coffee, Big put down the bargain – if he might have a suitably large rock from Lucifer, then he could subdue the tyrant lake and ensure the future prosperity of the two towns of the Cuyahoga.

  The devil did not ask what were in it for him, apart from his general appetite for deceit. In fact he sounded like any politician. I back the United States all day long  I back progress every time  I am for democracy  For whatever keeps you all busy and growing

  Big were not sure what this meant, but he waited polite.

  I only ask that I might have a few prime city lots  as a security for my coming old age said Satan.

  Big had no lots to give away and did not like to lie more. But is it a sin to lie to the devil?

  By the time Big drug his great boulder up, the sun were risen. The lake were still dozing, even as early-to-work wagons clonked through muddy lanes and bacon nickered in pans. The lake were still dozing even as Big tugged the rock up to the Lakewood cliff – still dozing to the very moment the vast hell-hot stone thundered into its guts.

  The lake tumbled out of sleep screaming about the tricks of Big Son but couldn’t hardly roar with such a boulder in its belly. Ever since Erie does not misbehave too much – only frowns and dreams of someday drowning us.

  Big’s feats gone on in this general way for years – my brother proved himself a foremost spirit of the times. You are familiar with how a spirit of the times done. Tamed bears, rastled the pope of Rome, romanced queens and milkmaids. Half horse and half alligator and another half wolverine set on top. Et c. In truth Big did not meet the pope any and never seen any queens. It is only a manner of talking. Pope or no, my brother were red pepper at Sunday supper.

  You know how red pepper tastes. Loud and foolish. My brother has got quieter flavors to him as well. Tenderness cussedness and tragedy as I promised. I will put these down directly.

  * * *

  But I must do a bit more mumbling before I put down the tales. I do not wish to sell you my brother. To recite him like news paper advertisements. To sweat over him like a tent preacher.

  Though I do believe I could make a decent merchant for him as a foremost spirit of the times.

  But he is not an article of merchandise.

  Although when I grease my mind some, I consider a spirit is alike to an article of merchandise. If you will permit wider talk. Every age and place has got its Big Sons. Folks who hang the sky that we shelt
er under. Stand up the timbers of a place. Some of the timbers is timbers and others is more like ideas. The spirits of the time make a place more than Connecticut surveyors and maps.

  There was Courthouse Shad of Painesville, who put law on the blizzards and bargained them into a treaty. They could snow the town to the waist four months a year so long as they behaved the rest.

  In Conneaut it were Finland Pete, who dug a harbor with one belch.

  In Newburgh you had Wagonface – a fascination whose face were wider than tall. He had ears round as wheels. I cannot remember what feats Wagonface done but I know he were responsible somehow for the water mill down that way.

  In Wooster, Dorothy Fangs – who could outwork a dozen menfolk to dying and bury them without mussing her apron.

  The Ohio country had got spirits like the wood has panthers – more heard of than seen. But when you did see them, you recollected it all your life. I do not say these were all true spirits. But neither does that make them false. You never saw Boone or Crockett or Fink or Billy Earthquake Esquire either and they are in news papers and almanacs.

  * * *

  I have distracted myself. As I begun to tell, the promised tenderness cussedness and tragedy related to whether my brother were a merchant or merchandise or both. You will agree that a candy tastes sweeter when you steal it. There is a different taste for the storekeeper you stole from. Progress requires fetching more than you paid for a thing.

  Now consider my brother as a trader. Recollect his first great offering of nine years before – his Sunday promise to clear ground for a city among the western trees. The flea-folks had only laughed at his offer to clear the woods in two days and a night. They went to bed still grinning at the jackassed idea. But they woke to see that Big had done it. Their mouths forgot how they had laughed and spoke poor of my brother, and went to licking their teeth over the good land. Thousands of acres to husband on – build on – live on – buy and sell on.

  Big spread his hands out and said to them Go ahead. Not one soul thought about his open and empty palms as they ran to claim lots. Big did not think of his empty palms either. It were enough for him to be wondered at and adored.

  In the Gospels you never hear of Christ doing carpenter work for wages. On the question of hard money, he only holds up a coin and says This hasn’t got my name on it any and pitches it into the waters of Jordan. When Christ were borrowing Simon Peter’s fishboat, I wonder if he were scooping up that same coin to do the trick on a fresh crowd of folks. I do not mean to call Christ a swindler. Only that making folks credence takes theatre grease, and it would have been costly to throw coins all day long.

  It is pudding minded talking of my brother and Christ in the same breath. It is grabbing after the lowest branch. It is lazy work. I forgive myself. We have just got these ideas scratched into our brains.

  You would not trust Christ to run a bank though. He would dump out all your money for the sick and weary-hearted.

  * * *

  At first Big did not mind his empty palms. Not when he whipped a lake. Nor when he lied to the devil – stalked the deepest woods – hogtied panthers – drained jugs – got stung by one thousand hornets and only smiled – cut roads – moved the mouth of the Cuyahoga – dug a canal – drained twenty swamps – rescued one hundred widows and several married men besides.

  He has got more feats than you have got ears to hear, and he never asked a penny for them. Besides, what have you and your ears to pay for such a thing? What is the correct price of such merchandise?

  So Big come to live on adoration – by slaps-on-his-back – by refreshment – by the flock of small fry that imitated him – by other folks’ wonder. This arrangement were considered settled in ink by the citizens of Ohio city and Cleveland. The tenderness cussedness and tragedy come when Big decided it were not enough to be wondered at.

  * * *

  You know the advertisement by now. Big Son has rastled rivers and lakes and rescued women in woe. Met the devil twice and whipped him three times. Ate panther fricassee for breakfast and tiger steaks at supper. Taught wolves how to wail and put a face on the moon with a rusty musket. Big Son has done more feats than you have brains to hold et c.

  For his next one he liked something else entirely. No brawling or biting, and no empty palms after. For his next wonder Big wished to grab hold of the land as he had watched men do. To make a place of his own and populate it with shining-haired small fry. To quit being wondered at and start wondering on. To quit being loved up and start loving.

  He wanted to be more flesh than spirit.

  He wanted Miss Cloe.

  * * *

  You have not met many folks besides my brother and myself. I ought to start with Miss Cloe Inches. Recall that I said my brother never met any queens. Miss Cloe were not a queen. I do not consider queen is word enough.

  Cloe Inches were an orphan raised in the house of Mr Job and Mrs Tab Stiles alongside my brother and myself – so she were our own somewhat-sister. I never known how Mr and Mrs Inches done apart from dying. She were between Big and myself in age, and sometimes mistaken for our blood kin. As pretty as Big were strong, and plenty strong herself. As tall as me, half a head shorter than Big. Hair of the darkest brown, just a breath short of black. Cheeks perpetually blushed, like the blood inside knew a private joke.

  You would like such a creature to steal my brother’s heart. But she were not agreeable to the role of bouncing bride. By her own nature and by the example of Mrs Tab Stiles, Cloe were not at all meek. Her birthday was in the month of June and summer thunderstorms stayed in her eyes all the year. She had manners mostly but she could outrastle and outcuss most folks if you asked her to. She would outwork you without any asking at all.

  My brother were a great hand for feats, but for steady habits there were no one better than Cloe Inches. She would keep after a task longer than Big or anyone you know, and no one ever stopped to pay her wonder. Cloe did not bother with prodigious thwocks – her work sounded more like thk, quiet and tidy. Big could juggle boulders all day, but Cloe would make candles – churn butter – stitch smocks – put dry clothes on the young Stileses – teach them school – butcher hogs and a hundred thks more and then holler us in for supper. All while Big were only making a circus with rocks.

  * * *

  I do not say any lovers’ secret when I tell that my brother meant to wed Cloe. He had said as much out loud and sober. He only wanted to convince her.

  * * *

  Big and Cloe and myself strolling in the lanes under a yolk-colored dusk. Children and dogs and day pigs running around and between us. Crickets sawing their fiddles. Past the gibbering of youth and insect you could hear how specially quiet Big gone.

  Cloe  will you be married to me?

  Big stopped still. Speaking such an idea and walking were too much at once.

  Cloe walked on even as she answered. Have you got a house for us to live in?

  Big made to catch up.  I would build us one

  Would you build us money for a lot to raise it on?

  My brother had a way of tilting his head when a truth bit him.

  * * *

  Big and Cloe and myself plucking deceased chickens in the cold January barn. With bits of feather dancing in the air, Big asked again.

  Cloe  will you be married to me?

  Cloe did not turn from her work. What will you do to earn a keep?

  Big sat with his chicken and considered.

  * * *

  Big and Cloe and myself stringing popcorn for Washington’s Birthday. His needle stopped ominously and it come out again.

  Cloe  will you be married to me?

  I do not consider you are marriageable, Big

  Cloe  we will not want for a thing if only we make man and woman of each other

  What have you got that will make me more of a woman?

  He put his attention back to the popcorn.

  * * *

  Big and Cloe and myself w
hitewashing the backside of the house after the last of the snow were melted. The creatures in the barn watched curious from their stalls. Big drew a deep drink of air as he dunked his brush.

  Cloe —

  Big  I do not wish to be wed to anyone at all just now

  * * *

  Big come to be scorched severally – by his empty palms, and by Miss Cloe’s considering that he were wanting in respects. In confidence I do not think my brother wore his best ears when making his proposals of marriage. He only heard the first bits of Cloe’s spurning – that he were poor, that he were wanting prospects, et c. He did not hear the second bits of Cloe’s being against marrying anyone at all just now. He took away from their lyceums the idea that he ought to secure an income, and that an income would secure Cloe, and so secure his happiness.

  * * *

  The only income Big had ever known was wonder won by feats. But by the coming of spring 1837, he had hunted out all Ohio city and Cleveland besides for feats wanting doing. There is only so much to do, even in a growing country. The yield of his work thinned out some too. There is only so much wonder in a place.

  In the months of March and April Big turned sideways. He had shown before a tendency to create a mess in the making of a miracle. Now he went straight on to the mess without the miracle bit. Big Son who cut roads to nowhere. Who dug a well into dry rock. Who tried to rastle tame creatures. Who emptied jugs and went looking for brawls. Who tried to cure hog cholera.

  My brother were not a doctor of swine or any creature. He somehow took sick with the hog cholera himself and puked enough to drown a horse. It were a feat but not the good sort.